As we approach the time of year when Americans celebrate their Thanksgiving holiday, we feel inspired to write a new cultural tip about how to share special days with Macedonians.
In American culture it is common to have a family gather for a holiday meal, like Thanksgiving, then invite friends over for dessert and coffee. It makes for a very nice evening, especially for guests who get to enjoy pumpkin pie (we like it very much!) and other baked goodies. American families have often brought this tradition with them to Macedonia, making it a special way for them to honor Macedonian friends.
Macedonians, on the other hand, find this practice strange, and can easily take offense. Macedonians simply don’t invite people over after a holiday meal. If a Macedonian wants to invite you, he invites you to the whole thing, or not at all. For him, it seems odd to leave a guest out of the “main” event, then extend an invitation to join in the last throes of a feast that is almost over.
This may have something to do with traditional Macedonian hospitality, in which offering dessert and coffee are a prelude to departure rather than the point of a gathering. Even though today’s coffee drinking practices have changed a lot, and people gather just for coffee more and more, the cultural memory of the so-called “sikter kafe,” or “farewell coffee,” is deeply rooted in the Macedonian psyche, and could make Macedonian guests uncomfortable.
It is worthwhile to make note of this cultural difference in order to avoid unintended misunderstandings. Talking about it can lighten the mood, eliminate confusion, and maybe even garner a good laugh about the different lenses through which we see the world.
Welcome to Macedonia wishes a Happy Thanksgiving to all… and save a slice of pie for us!
No comments yet.